2008年11月30日星期日

I am so sorry to.......

i cook my lunch juz nw
its all food i took frm my home
gt pork, sambal salted fish
then i decided to cook rice
how ever, i am s sorry to
because i actually wana cook u into
but i cook u into sumting between
and this
but dun sad as u becum
although
is wat i wan
but finally make u into
my special recipe
salted fish pork sambal porridege
wakaka
enjoy eaten by me ya.

2008年11月24日星期一

我失败了。。。。。

我不是一个无私的人
虽然我想,试着,尽力去当一个无私的人,但我还是失败了
可能十年后,二十年后,或者三十年后的某天,我会是个无私的人
但现在的我,绝对不是的

一直以为我是可以做到的
学佛了这么多年,我还是做不到这一点,真得满愧疚的
有人告诉我,人一直都自私的
以前的人是这样,现在的人是这样,未来的人也是这样的
只是我不明白为什么有些人非要激起我压抑已久的私心呢??


我不是一个坦率的人
虽然我想,试着,尽力去当一个坦率的人,但我还是失败了
可能十年后,二十年后,或者三十年后的某天,我会是个坦率的人
但现在的我,绝对不是的

一直以为我可以是个很坦率的人
可以大声地说-“不,我不想”
虽然心里想的是-“我不要”
但说出来的是-“好吧”
“我不要” 不等于 “好吧”
这点我当然知道,也知道他们甚至是对立的
但在我的人生中,他们好像已经划上等号了

我不想当一个喜欢在人背后将别人坏话的人
虽然我想,试着,尽力去当一个不讲是非的人,但我还是失败了
可能十年后,二十年后,或者三十年后的某天,我会是个不讲是非的人
但现在的我,绝对不是的

有句话说,“看到别人的缺点就是自己修养不够”
那我的修养真得还满虚伪的
记得前一阵子我已经满成功减少讲别人的是非了
我还以为我慢慢成功改变自己了
只是没想到当时我只是逃避,当只鸵鸟而已
压抑在心中的全部话终于压抑不住了
很多话对在心理,讲又不是,不讲也不是。。。。
好纳闷
真希望可以有个箱子可以把我心中的话全都放在那里
我知道当我再讲人的时候,别人也是在讲我
所以我尽量不讲别人(虽然这样不会制止别人讲我)
等吧,等到哪天我到了置身于云外,修养很高的人时可能就不会那么痛苦吧
但,会有那么一天吗???
因为真真最高的境界就是完全不会看到别人的缺点
这样就完全不会想讲别人了
这,可能发生吗???

做自己???
世界上会有几个人完完全全的做自己???
记得看过一个报导,
有个游戏 - 在一天内完全不撒谎,不讲骗话,只说实话,
你敢挑战吗??
我还满想的
只是在游戏中的我真的会是一个 100%诚实,100%不讲骗话, 100%最自己 的人吗???

之前有人问我,有必要把人生搞得那么困难吗??
我顿时愣了一会儿, 有必要吗??
我不懂
可能这只是一个门槛,过了海就成仙了
我不是想当仙
我只想。。。。。
只想做个好人

P/s:
好纳闷~~~~
只是想抒发情绪而已~~~~
只是明天醒来,还是失败的我吗??

2008年11月16日星期日

weekend in penang and ipoh

must be weird rite??
juz say said finish holiday n get bec 2 melacca how can i sopent my weekend in penang moreover ipoh

the story start like tis:
mom:
ur jpa form reach adee, u need 2 cum bec 2 sign and sent it bec.

me:
ok, i will cum bec at thursday nite.... and reach at fri morning.

p/s:
translate frm chinese
of course, i din speak english vif my mum

then how can i be in ipoh???

(on phone)
3rd uncle:
ei??? jian quan??? (my chinese name)
ni3 hui2 lai2 le4 ?? (u cum bec dee??)
ni3 wei4 shen2 me4 hui2 lai2?? (why u cum bec)

me:
erm.........
.........................................(story begin)...........................
...........................(explaining)..........................................
........................................................................................

3rd uncle:
ni3 yao4 bu4 yao4 qu4 yi2 bao3 he4 xi3 jiu3?? (then do u wana go ipoh for weeding dinner)
ba1 sh14 hai2 you3 wei4(bus stil have extra seat)

me:
kan4 xian1 la4 (c 1st lar)

3rd uncle:
qu3 la4 (golar)
.........................................(persuading me)......................
...........................(persuading me).................................... ........................................................................................
qu3 la4 (golar)

me:
(finally)ok, wo3 qu4 la1 (ok, i go)

p/s:
translate frm chinese
2 prove v really speak in chinese, i write in han3 yu3 pin4 yin1
haha

c?? tat why i go ipoh

oya~~~~
my sis brought a spec, i took sum foto vif it






dark version





att loo zhenli:
u can grab 1 for the caller picture

o ya~~~
i maybe going bec 2 penang again soon, if..... if.... i have chicken pox


2008年11月9日星期日

Holiday + ed ==>last holiday.....






those who noe me very well will noe i less take my foto on my own 1 (zi pai), but i juz wana take foto to prove how long my hair was....
haha......
however, tis hair is no more liao coz i cut deee
juz a day be4 i bec melaca....
my hairstyle nw quite short......
but i oso like it
if i still so thick face i will capture my new hairstyle picture and share...
haha....

MOVIE - HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3
tis holiday i watch a damn nice movie.....
high school musical 3
thanks 2 joajoa n jojo n jenjen
J~~J~~J~~J~~ go c movie again
they introduce this nice movie 2 me
expecially joajoa, she even lend me hsm 1 & 2 for me
but i am so sorry 2 them i hav less tim 2 gather with them
Joaoa~~Jojo~~Jenjen~~
thanks for spending your time with me!!
(but wat a suprise i met DIDI (coursemate) in sunway karnival )

HOSPITAL - GRANDMA
grandma suddenly get into hospital
and we get a very bad news:
her cancer spread from lungs to her brain adee
doctor said she may attack of cancer anytime
v so sad she maybe leaving us anytim
i now have two wishes:
1.)she wont suffer from her cancer
2.)she can at least celebrate this cuming new year and hav my aunt from U.S.A